Lake City 4

Spring along the Mississippi River. When the leaves finally come out it is joyous and beautiful, and lifts the spirits of everyone who lives here. The color "spring green" has real meaning in this part of the world.

This is the pond on my sister's property. The frogs love it here, and they get so loud in the spring that you have to close the windows in order to sleep at night. It dries up so much I don't know how they survive and prosper so well, but they do.

Here are some photos of Lake Pepin - a quite wide area of the Mississippi River, where the sport of water skiing was invented.

Here are some beautiful redbud trees in bloom in the small town of Lake City, Minnesota. The redbud tree, Cercis canadensis, is one of my favorite trees. Native to North America, Lake City is at the northern edge of its hardiness limit.

Tulips and hosta are two of my favorite plants.

I offered a day of my time to the minister of my sister's church. Not to work on church projects, but to help him personally. He most needed some clean up of his garden. These are before and after photos of his beautiful private garden space. The windows behind belong to a breezeway between the house and the garage, and he sits there often in the summer and reads, and enjoys the garden and the birds which visit the birdbath.

Cleaning the birdbath

I visited the Twin Cities for a weekend for a get together of Couch Surfers. A member from NorthEast Minneapolis, Justin and Vonny, hosted the event. I surfed my first real couch that weekend at their house! Here is the lovely comfortable couch:
They also had a beautiful stained glass window in the dining area



Here are more photos of spring in Lake City, Minnesota

Apple Blossoms

The city

The city park

Lilac bushes, which need cold winters in order to bloom well. As a result, they are Minnesota favorites.

As a thank you gift for my help, my sister gave me a gift voucher to be pampered with a manicure and pedicure. Here are my pretty toes, taken while soaking in Pat's big tub. Very decadent!! The salon is owned by a Vietnamese family. I felt happy to help them out with this small bit of business.


These blue bikes are available free to ride to visitors of Stockholm, Wisconsin, http://www.stockholmwisconsin.com/ . What a great idea! I am sure it has been done in other places, but this was the first time I had seen it. The city has about 30 bikes, and plenty of bike racks.

Fun With Flowers

When Pat was in Hawaii, I took apart the flower arrangements from Del's memorial service, and made up a number of much smaller arrangements that I delivered to different businesses in Lake City. I made sure to drop one off at the police station. The receptionists were delighted. I made sure to leave before they asked me who I was. I didn't want them knowing I was the Free Hugger!!

Tree Spade at Work

One morning I heard a noise, looked out, and saw these two huge trucks rumbling up the road near my sister's house. They were coming to plant some large trees on a neighbor's property. I grabbed my camera and ran out to watch. I had occasionally seen these big rigs rolling down the highway with their trees, but had never watched how they did it. Now was my chance. Here are the results:

Minnesota Wildlife and Spring Wildflowers

These deer were photographed from my bedroom window at my sister's house. I delight in their beauty and grace.



One day a hospice volunteer came to the house and Pat and Kim and I took a break from caring for Del and went to the nearby town of Wabasha. Every time I have been there I have seen eagles soaring in the sky or watching the Mississippi from a (strong) branch overhanging the river. Wabasha has an important claim to fame: it is the home of the National Eagle Center, which we visited. They have several bald eagles there which cannot be released to the wild because of permanent injuries to their wings. They are not tame, but they will let you come fairly close to them, even if you are a stranger. You are strongly warned not to try to touch the birds!!

















Outside, along the river, they have binoculars you can use to watch the eagles cruising along the Mississippi, and they have a life size model of a bald eagle nest. I had no idea they could get so large!! The birds use the same nest for up to 20 years, and build a new layer on it every year. They can weigh up to 1000 pounds, or 2200 kg.!! It makes me wonder what size nest the now extinct New Zealand eagle would have had, since it was several times larger than bald eagle.

This spring flower is one of my favorites. It is called hepatica, or liverwort, because the leaves are shaped like a human liver.











These turkeys are walking stately across my sister's yard, close to the woods. I don't have photos of the coyotes, but I have watched them hunt for field mice in the tall grass next door. A pack of them howls nearly every night, but just for a minute or so, so it is hard to get them on tape. But maybe this week I will capture them.



This flower is called "Dutchman's Breeches", for obvious reasons. Dicentra cucullaria is its botanical name.

This flower is a wild ginger, Asarum canadense. You have to look very close to see its flower, which lays on the ground. I wonder which creature fertilizes it?

Never Again Hear Someone Criticise You!: Non Violent Communication with Marshall Rosenberg

"Every word we say as criticism or blame is the heart of violence on our planet." Marshall Rosenberg
Imagine listening to a raging boss or spouse and not hearing criticism, blame, or feeling shame or anger as they vent their feelings at you. Just imagine being able to listen to them respectfully, and calmly, and not shut them out. And, to be able to share any feelings that do come up in a manner that will not escalate the tension, but will get your own needs met. Wow. Who wouldn't want to be able to do that??

I recently attended a 2 day workshop on NonViolent Communication with Marshall Rosenberg, founder of the Center for NonViolent Communication, http://www.cnvc.org/. Marshall grew up in Detroit, Michigan, and had plenty of violent communication in that childhood setting. But now he travels the world's war zones and prisons bringing people together who are at each other's throats. He helps them to see that underneath the anger and hurt and overwhelming feelings people have in these situations, everyone has the same needs. Once these conflicting parties can get down to the level of their basic needs which aren't getting met, they can find a way to work together to solve their issues. These concepts work in our own personal war zones, too.

I first heard of Marshall while I was in Nelson. Casey Fenton and some of the other Couchsurfers had attended a training session (put on by a New Zealander trained in the technique, not by Marshall). The next day, some of us at the Collective watched a video of Marshall giving a training session. Some of the things Marshall said in his video really challenged much of what I had learned growing up, and I felt fascinated by the ideas presented. When I returned to the US, I discovered that Marshall himself was giving a training session in the Twin Cities. This was a rare opportunity, and I took advantage of it and signed up. I feel profoundly grateful that I did. After attending the training and reading his book, I now feel as though I finally have permission to own my feelings - all of them, not just the positive ones!!! And, I now have the tools I need to share those UnAmerican, Un-good person negative feelings with others, in the kindest possible manner. So I now have a much better chance of meeting my needs for understanding and respect.

Like learning a new language, this is going to take time and practice, and I will not write or speak this new language fluently any time soon. But I feel committed to learning it and using it as often as I can. No more saying I'm sorry, no more labeling myself or other people as intelligent, beautiful, good, bad, homeless, grumpy, etc, etc. No more use of the verb "To be".

"All criticism is a tragic expression of the other person's unmet needs." Marshall Rosenberg

You may be surprised to see positive labels listed as well as negative ones. That is one of the most intriguing insights of this training: Labeling people positively is as harmful as labeling them negatively, because all labels set up differences between us. If you are beautiful, I or someone else is not, and we end up constantly comparing ourselves either up or down against other people, in any area you care to think of.

Marshall uses the giraffe as a metaphor for nonviolent communication, because the giraffe has the largest heart of any land animal. Hence the photo below:

Marshall puts on the giraffe hat when he needs some time to put a particularly difficult comment into perspective, before he responds to it.

I look forward to speaking "Giraffe" fluently, and never again hearing a criticism or any kind of blame. Wow! I can hardly wait! What a great incentive to learn this new language. And if we all learned to speak "Giraffe", and have compassion for the other person instead of defensiveness, the world would be at peace. I am going to start with the only person I can change: me.

Back in the US - Lake City 2

Since my last update, much has happened. Helping my sister care for her husband Del was a challenging and rewarding experience. Del was with us another 5 weeks after I arrived from New Zealand. We learned about seizures, allergic reactions to medications, the body's natural way of shutting down, nausea, the immortality of our souls, and the releasing of worldly cares which can enable our free, loving, happy souls to emerge during our last days. During this time, I read some life-changing books. Some are good for learning how to truly help someone who is dying. Some are convincing accounts of reincarnation, and one is all about what life is like in our real home, heaven.
Here they are, in the order in which I read them:

• Life on the Other Side, by Sylvia Browne
• Closer to the Light, Learning from Near Death Experiences of Children, by Melvin Morse, M.D.
• Many Lives, Many Masters, by Brian Weiss, M.D.


• Messages from the Masters by Brian Weiss, M.D.


• Intimate Death, How the Dying Teach Us to Live, by Marie De Hennezel

I read others, but these are the ones I recommend. You can buy them used on Amazon, or borrow most of them from your local library.

During this time spring arrived in Minnesota. Here are some photos taken during my time to get out and walk or ride a bike:

Sweet local cows who rarely see visitors.

Another beautiful sunset - no leaves on the trees yet when this photo was taken.

Pat and Del's house with new green grass

One Saturday I decided that I would take a break from my duties and go into Lake City and give free hugs on my own. This time of year, before the boats have been put back into the marina, there aren't many places in town that have many pedestrians. So I picked a likely corner by a gas station, and held up my sign. It was a stretch for me, since I had only given free hugs once before, and that was in a supportive group in Nelson (see previous blog entry). I got lots of smiles, a number of people waved at me, a few guffawed, and about 15 people and children came to get a hug in an hour.


And then the police showed up and started asking questions. Apparently there had been a complaint about my highly unusual activity, and someone wanted me off the street. The word around town is that I was to be arrested. But it never came to that. The officer just asked me a few questions - did I have any ID on me, what was my name and date of birth, where did I live, what was I doing? He kept wanting to know what organization I was with. I suppose it was hard to imagine that I would be doing something like this all on my own! I agreed with him that it was quite unusual. No doubt about that. Eventually he admitted that I was not a danger to my self or anyone else, and then he just stood there, looking at me, for the longest time. I knew he was trying to figure out what he was going to do with me. I could see his dilemma. So I said "If you wish, I will cease and desist and roll up my sign and go home." He replied: "That would make my job a lot easier." So I did. I am planning another Free Hugs event in Minneapolis, June 10, 3pm, at the Lake Harriet Bandshell, if you are interested in participating. I set up the time before checking with the Bandshell schedule, and guess who is booked that same afternoon? The Minneapolis Police Band!!!! Oh boy, here we go again. This time I know there will be photographers at least on hand to capture the event.





I rescued a bumblebee from a mailbox where it got stuck. It was nearly dead when I stuck a tissue into the mailbox and it climbed onto it. How does one rescuscitate a bumblebee? If I were stuck in a mailbox with no food or water for a day or so, what would I want? Nectar. Yes. Need nectar! So I brought the bumblebee over to some flowers, but it wasn't interested. Probably the wrong shape for bumblebees. So I tried some smaller flowers - ground ivy (aka creeping charlie), and that bumblebee went right for them! It couldn't even waggle its wings, but it still had enough energy to drink some nectar. It wandered over to a dandelion as well, and carefully scraped off the pollen that stuck to its legs and ate it, too. I helped it find more flowers, and its energy levels were rapidly increasing. I left it then, knowing it would probably be OK. It was very interesting to be that close to a big bumblebee and watch it without danger of getting stung. Poor thing didn't have enough energy for that!







Those of you who have known me for any length of time know that I always carry a PDA with me. In the past it has been a Sharp Wizard organizer. Well, I left it on the plane in Minneapolis when I disembarked, and have not seen it since. Time to upgrade to new technology! They don't even make those Wizards any more. So I decided to buy a Cingular 8525, and am very pleased with it so far. Combination cell phone, 2.0 megapixel digital camera, organizer with Word, Excel, and Powerpoint, and Internet access via cell phone or wifi. I can read my e-mails and view attachments. Amazing! Perfect for me traveling via bicycle. And I can back everything up on my online vault. I couldn't do that with the Sharp Wizard. My new phone number is 612-670-0093, effective immediately. This number will work through Sept 12, 2007.